24 Tips To Build A Bond With Your Teenage Son
Finding a level of understanding with your teenager builds trust in the relationship, gives understanding, allows you to appreciate and love each other. Here are a few ways you can bond with your teen – some specific, some general. All of them can help you build a relationship with a young person based on mutual trust and respect.
Ways to Build a Bond with Your Teenage Son
1. Be a good listener
Be interested in what your child says. Also, learn to read between the lines, paying attention to their tone and body language. Teenagers often have more to say than they express in words.
2. Create common rituals with your child
If your child already has a driver’s license, you can give them a hug every time you hand them the car keys and let them go out of town with their friends. You can also agree that every Sunday evening you go alone, just the two of you, to have pizza or to the court to play tennis. Find an activity that works, where regularity is important. Your teenager will be eagerly awaiting the events he or she knows to build your closeness.
3. Let him get the word out
If you are a good listener, your child will be happy to share their problems with you. However, the teenager does not expect you to step in and give him ready-made solutions on a tray – he will then feel incompetent and will reject your help. Rather, he prefers you to listen to him and ask the right questions to help him find a way out of a difficult situation on his own.
4. Compassion and help
The life of a busy teenager becomes easier when they notice that it is not only them who have to pay attention at school all day, but also you who spend their evenings on their homework. Offer to review his math homework. And if you bring something to eat or drink, your teenage child will be delighted.
5. Ask how your day was
When you ask how it was at school, you will hear a casual answer. Because the teen thinks you mean academic performance, he will ignore this standard question. Wait for him to start talking about school events himself. If they were important to him, he would certainly do so, but on his terms, that is, when he wanted and what he wanted. Listen, ask specific questions, and encourage honest answers, for example, “And what did others say about your idea?” or “Who are you spending your breakfast with now?”
6. Hug everyday
People of all ages need tenderness and expressions of love from their loved ones. If you hug your teen and tell him, “I love you,” it is the easiest way to build your closeness. But be careful! Never do this in front of his colleagues.
7. Participate in his life
Extracurricular activities are an important part of a teenager’s life. By showing interest in his passions, you will effectively nurture your relationships. So make time to go to a game or concert with your child. Remember, however, that you are not doing this to help him be better, but in recognition of his effort. Just tell him, “I love watching you play.”
8. Find a balance between criticism and praise
You know your baby is not perfect. He commits and will continue to make many mistakes. However, if you talk about them too often, they will find them unacceptable, even when you declare otherwise. Better suggest to him what needs to be improved, but try to do it in a gentle way. In other words, find out what your child is doing right at the moment. What do you think will motivate your teenager to cooperate more: “Thank you so much for taking the dishes from your room and I didn’t have to ask you for it a second time. I appreciate it” or “Well, you’ve finally brought those dirty dishes from the room, I don’t know how you can live in such a pigsty!?” Try not to miss any step taken by the child in the right direction.
9. Find a Mutual Hobby
You’re son may already have a hobby that needs your assistance from time to time. But why not find a new hobby to do together. Allow your son to lead the way according to his interests and it won’t hurt to suggest a few ideas of your own. A hobby goes beyond an activity and embarks on a journey to work on something together. Hobbies are especially ideal for dads and sons who struggle having casual conversations.
10. Offer a car ride
In the car, let your child be a DJ. Teenagers’ tastes in terms of books, movies and music are growing and are an essential part of their identity as they form. Let your teen choose his favorite songs. Even if you are not a fan of this kind of music, you can treat his choices as reflecting thoughts and emotions, and this will become a topic for conversation.
11. Find common interests
If your child enjoys sports, ask if you can join them. When your teenager throws a basketball in the yard – join in, even if you haven’t done it in ages. Go to the game together. It doesn’t matter if your team wins or loses, cheering will bring you closer together. And sitting together in the stands is a great opportunity to talk. You will also be great when you watch a movie together. You prepare the popcorn, it’s up to the teenager to choose the movie. But do not try to make it a Friday ritual, for example, because the child may find it an obstacle in meeting friends. Better choose another day.
12. Create a family book club
Buy two copies of a novel that both of you may like. Find nice circumstances (maybe Saturday breakfast?) And talk about what you are reading right now. What do you think about the heroes’ choices? Would you make similar decisions? Did you anticipate the twists and turns?
13. Offer your teen to organize a party for friends at home
… but be sure to involve him in menu planning and cooking. It’s a great way to make them learn to cook, which will come in handy when you move out, but it’s also an opportunity for your child to feel grown up and feel that you yourself would like to meet his friends as almost adults.
14. Let him take his friend on a family outing or away
This may seem like a “family” time distraction, but it will make your teen feel like you want to have a good time and meet his friends. And conversations in such a group away from the usual online interactions are really interesting.
15. Involve the child in household chores
Teenagers usually do not realize how much time and work it takes to take care of the house. If you say something like, “Gee, we have so much work … If we do the cleaning together, we can go faster and we can finally rest,” you will show that order is your common business. On the other hand, the more you ask for help and raise your voice at the same time, the more resistance you will meet.
16. Have fun together
Be sure to find ways to enjoy their company. Your child will not necessarily share his vision of entertainment, so this means you need to find out what they think is an interesting way to spend their time. It may be playing a board game or going on a bike ride together. Doing something pleasant together will increase the likelihood that your teen will want to talk to you on occasion.
17. Learn something from a child
Teenagers want to be more mature and feel like adults. For them, it may be such an “adult” thing to teach their parents something. You will be surprised how much your child knows about things that you don’t know. Most of them are probably matters related to social media and electronic gadgets. But in class, kids can also learn something interesting. So let your son or daughter tell you about what they learned about photosynthesis or the rulers of the Roman Empire.
18. Go camping, hiking or fishing
Without screens and coverage, you’ll be able to really chat. Whether it’s an overnight camping trip or just an afternoon excursion, outdoor activities away from technology have many other benefits as well.
19. Get involved in volunteering
Teenagers want the world to become better, they also want to see that they can change it. If you share this concern with them, it will mean a lot to them.
20. Don’t compare your child to anyone
It’s a simple way to frustrate your teen. The young man wants to feel like a unique individual with exceptional qualities. You notice and appreciate them, of course, no matter how brilliantly your son’s cousin plays basketball and how many sixes your daughter’s cousin has at school.
21. Give your child a sense of freedom
Unless you have a specific reason to do so, you really don’t need to over-oversee your teenager’s actions. Even by keeping it under a shade, you will not prevent mistakes, which are an essential part of growing up. It’s obvious that you are worried about your baby, but don’t panic. Before your teen leaves home to the party, tell him you need more information from him. Ask if there will be an adult on the spot, will there be alcohol, and what to do if they feel they have overdid it. Also, be sure that he can always call you for help.
22. Talk about dating
You probably know that today’s teenagers are getting younger and they start intercourse. Instead of locking your child in the house to protect them from irresponsible experiments, talk to your teen about dating and safe sex (yes, about that too). Try to find out what your child likes if you have the impression that the relationship is more serious. If you pretend nothing is happening, your child may become involved in a relationship that will have a negative impact on his or her future love life.
23. Stop forbidding
The system of penalties, prohibitions and all kinds of “barriers” are in the case of a teenager ineffective educational methods. Better use your teenager’s inappropriate behavior or bad choices as an opportunity to talk honestly. Usually, a teenager behaves inappropriately because, like everyone else, he is at times emotionally agitated. Getting to the root cause and helping to solve the problem will allow him to deal with this condition much better than closing the door and throwing the keys out the window.
24. Love unconditionally, no matter what
There is a lot you can do to build a healthy, trust-based relationship with your baby. However, you are not able to plan for him a carefree life. However, remember to love your child unconditionally and always support him, no matter what mistakes he makes – this is your primary goal.
