Category: Parenting

When it comes to protecting babies and toddlers, parents obviously focus on the immediate threats they can see.  However, as children get older their worlds expand outside of the home and into the neighborhood, playground and eventually school.  Add computers into the mix and it’s not surprising the task of protecting kids for most parents becomes overwhelming.

How does a parent teach their children about online predators without scaring them?  What types of conversations are appropriate for each age?  Of course, the goal is for kids to feel safe in the world and online as we set up proper boundaries to protect them.  Yet, somehow they need to be involved in the conversation without causing too much anxiety.

Your child needs to be informed enough so they can do their part to understand and know their boundaries.  Your child also needs to know that if they notice certain behaviors that you’ve taught them to look out for, they will be ready to tell you right away so you can protect your kids online.

Protecting Children from Predators

Here are some ways to help parents educate their kids on the topic of online safety from predators.  We will also share some tips on what a parents can do so that their children don’t have to worry and be overly frightened when interacting with friends on social media or when surfing the web.

Apps and websites to be aware of where online predators can view or begin to communicate with children.  This can happen when kids they give out their personal contact information or allow strangers to connect with them on social media.  The most popular apps that kids and teens are using include:  Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, Discord, Houseparty, Ask.fm, VSCO, Kik, and the world’s more widely used app; Whatsapp.

How to Warn Children about The Dangers

It’s not uncommon for parents to avoid talking about these difficult subjects with their kids.  The first thing you can feel good about is that there are ways to have these conversations and still remain positive.  For example, when talking about bad people, it’s important to let your children know that most people are good.  A positive way to bring it up is to make it personal.  You can begin talking about kids they know in school. Some of them are not very kind or they may even be bullies.

Children are not dumb.  They know good behavior when they see it.  And they know bad.  Most people are not mean.  Most are not cyberbullies, yet these people still exist.  Now you can transition the conversation to adults.  Some adults are this way as well, even after they grow up.  But most adults who want to hurt people will pretend to be nice so they can get something they want.  Your kids may know other kids like this as well.

The older your child is, the more you can tell them what these bad grown ups online are trying to do.  The teach your kids the signs to be aware of so they can let you know when it happens. You can also include in the conversation about inappropriate touch even from someone close to their age. As they grow older kids need to be taught about consent and what that means.

Teach Your Children the Signs of an Online Predator

If you are uncomfortable with the word predator, especially with younger children, you can refer to them as ‘adults who want to hurt others’.  Yes, even kids.  They may seem nice, but they have hidden secret motives.  Just like parents teach their kids to be aware of strangers outside and not get into a car with them, the signs online may be a little more subtle but obvious if you know what they’re looking for.  Online predictors ask personal questions.  They try to get private information from you.

The other element kids need to know is that online strangers lie about who they are, at least at first.  They may pretend to be much younger than they are.  They may pose as someone the same age as your child, or at least just a few years older in their late teens or early 20’s.  This is especially true for teens being preyed upon.

Rule #1 is to make sure your child never gives out any personal information.  This is regardless of a person’s motives.  You can teach them that we don’t even tell people who call from our banks our personal information.  It’s probably someone trying to steal our money.  Just like there are online scams to be aware of, there are people who want to get close to kids and they shouldn’t trusted.

Ban Chat Rooms

One of the most common areas that a predator will target children is an online chat room. If the predator is talking to a child in a one-on-one chat room, they can build a relationship with them. This is what you want to avoid at all costs. Public chat rooms are accessible to anyone with an Internet connection, but you can restrict your child’s access to them.  Unbeknownst to most parents, the popular app TikTok can actually work as a chat room using their live stream feature.

You have the choice of blocking these websites using parental control monitoring, or talking about them with your child. If your child promises to stay away from these types of sites, that may be sufficient as long as you have a way to check in once in a while to monitor they are not using chat rooms.

Things get more dangerous is someone your child is talking to someone in a chat room lives close by.  Chats can turn into texts and the possibility of meeting.  All the more vital for your child to know that anyone online may not be who they say they are.  This can even happen on social media.

Ensure Children’s are not Accessing the Dark Web

Many people do not know what the dark web is exactly. They may have heard it referenced on a TV show as a place where criminals surf the internet to evade capture, or unscrupulous people access very bad content.  It’s not illegal to be on there and allows anonymity. Your child won’t stumble upon it using a regular browser like Chrome, Firefox, or Microsoft Edge.  Parents should be vigilant and be aware of how their kids are accessing the internet. Check for strange or unknown browsers, as well as software, on any device children are using.  If in doubt about any suspicious installation you find, simply “Google It” to learn what it may be used for.

Help Them with Privacy Settings

If your child has a social media or online video game account, their information is readily accessible to whoever wants to see it. You can reduce this risk of possible stalking by helping your child set up secure privacy settings.  Your child may not be interacting on chatroom, but there are online predictors (and predator groups) that find and share easily accessible information about where children live, play and go to school.  Typically, training and helping kids with their privacy settings would include changing the settings so that only their friends can view their photos and posts. This will also block unsolicited messages from people who are not on their friends and contacts lists.

Parents need to also check their own privacy settings. Often a way for online predators to get to children is through their parents social media accounts.  Consider everything you post online about yourself and your kids.  Make no personal information is included or public due to lack of proper privacy settings.

This tip also includes helping your child choose a strong password. Identity theft is a common occurrence even with children and can have disastrous consequences. Teach them to use different passwords for different accounts and make them difficult to guess. Then, you will need to stress the importance of not sharing their passwords with anyone, even with their friends or significant others.

Stay Aware of Your Child’s Friends

It is a good idea to be aware of what is going on in your child’s life for multiple reasons. Being familiar with their friends will give you a heads up if they start mentioning a new name. You will be able to have a chat about who this new friend is and where they met. It may be a legitimate friend, but if this person sounds suspicious, you will be better prepared to deal with the situation.  Taking the time to talk to your kids about inappropriate dangers online is the first time to implementing all of these strategies.  It’s something parents and kids can and should do together.  This way, no one is left in the dark.

The Dangers of Online Chat Rooms

Chat rooms are linked to several significant concerns, including the following:

• Predator grooming
• Exposure to creepy material
• Information disclosure
• Access to private information, including messages and videos.

Predator Grooming

Sadly, many predators are lurking online who want to exploit kids. The police have warned parents in many ways about predators who were hanging out on sites like Omegle, which had been a hot spot for predators. These can be exploited in many ways. Some predators “groom” kids by establishing friendships, possibly presenting themselves as someone else, such as another child of the same age, and then attempting to exploit the child. This has resulted in more than one Omegle lawsuit as victims seek justice and compensation.

Children can be frightened of complying with predator demands by observing their behavior. Upon gaining a kid’s trust, they may tell them to take their friendship to another platform, requesting the exchange of creepy messages, images, or videos, or requesting a face-to-face meeting. A standard method of obtaining child pornography is through sextortion, which involves sexually explicit material as part of the extortion. Although the victim may not have provided any of such material, this strategy may still be employed.

Exposure to Creepy Material

Reviewers say that video chat features, such as appearing nude or performing sexual acts on-screen, have attracted the most negative reviews. This unavoidable exposure to creepy content is a concern shared by both parents and children. Children today are expected to be exposed to pornography by a young age, on average 11, in the age of modern digital technology. Although unintentionally witnessing a stranger perform sexual acts live is disturbing to some young minds, it’s not for everyone.

Every parent and child should be aware of what the application is before using any platform. Omegle was known for having explicit content that cannot be avoided, so no matter what users are looking for, they might be exposed. There have even been instances where reviewers say they were exposed to child pornography, violence, and even bestiality.

Both law enforcement and reviewers question video tracking effectiveness, though some video clips are monitored. The site says: “Understand that human behavior is fundamentally unpredictable and may not follow appropriate standards.”

Information Disclosure

Exposing personal information is one area in which kids often lack judgment. Even though chat rooms may make users anonymous, children are surprisingly willing to divulge details about themselves, such as names, ages, birth dates, the place where they live and school they attend, and other personal details. The information contained in these sites can be hazardous if it ends up in the hands of hackers or child predators.

Users of text chat can remain anonymous until they give out any personal information. According to its website, you can chat anonymously unless you choose to tell other users who you are, and also you can end a chat whenever you wish. It is also important to note that either of the users can choose to retain the entire chat in some shareable link format.

Access to Private Information

A chat room’s server are reportedly vulnerable to hackers gaining access to chat records, including messages and videos. Hackers may use any information grouped with a person’s name, social media handles, or exact address for indecent purposes, such as fraud, phishing attacks, online stalking, and even offline stalking. The victim could be harassed or extorted using creepy messages, images, or videos.

The following information was collected and stored by Omegle according to its privacy policy:

• Data regarding each chat and participants’ IP addresses, cookies, and timestamps.
• All the full-text chat messages that users have saved.
• For moderation purposes, images are captured from video chat sessions.

Omegle was shut down by owner and operator Leif K-Brooks on November 8th, 2023.  He said in a statement that Omegle started to be misused by some in order to commit unspeakably heinous crimes.  Leif willingly worked with law enforcement to stop predators from using the site, but the stress and expense of maintaining the chat room became too much.

Further Steps to Protect Children

One-to-one conversations on a stranger platform are risky. Children should be taught that the more information they share, the greater chance of predators misusing it. Chat rooms and even online games pose a threat to the online security of your child. Cybercriminals can target your kids with just one wrong click on these apps. You should block these apps immediately to protect your child.

Direct your kids to reputable social media groups and online forums where they could connect with like-minded people more safely. This isn’t to say that they are completely safe, and they indeed have their own set of problems, but eliminating the anonymity does help mitigate those risks.

When deciding which apps you will allow your kids to use, here are a few tips:

First, try to access the app on your own:  You will find it helpful to see firsthand what you’re dealing with if you’re permitting your child to use it (or if you already know they’re doing so). An app may not necessarily be set up to communicate with strangers, but there may be loop holes where conversations can be initiated.

Use the app together with your child and discuss it:  If you are not familiar with an app, use it with your child to see if there are any red flags regarding connections with strangers or an opportunity to see explicit content.

Educate about data security:  It is vital to reinforce the need to keep personal data private. Children should know that even if accounts are purported to be anonymous, there are still ways a stranger can find out what they are doing.

It is worth repeating discussions about the permanence of online data. If someone used a screen recorder or screenshot app, you can make anything that happens live permanent but reposting it elsewhere.

Parental Controls on Computers, Tablets and Phones

Even if you trust your child, there are still many ways that they can be manipulated online.  All of your child’s computers and tablets should have some level of parental control on them.  Let’s not forget that phones are little pocket computers too, and possibly the most dangerous if kids are not savvy to how predictors can access their information.  There are way to protect your devices using built in parental controls that also provide resources to protect children from online predators.

Restricting use a child’s computer to a shared space will make it harder for children to access dangerous websites.  Parental controls also allow parents to limited usage to specific parts of the day so that kids can’t access the internet late at night.  The best parental controls also includes geo tracking and monitoring of texts and suspicious photos.

The greatest of greats have always emphasized the importance of art in society. In the words of Albert Einstein, “The greatest scientists are artists as well.” Children with an inclination towards the arts are, definitely, gifted. However, this talent must be nurtured for them to become the artist they dream to be.

Before digging deeper into the ways science can help children become the best artistic version of themselves, let’s throw light on the closest relationship that science and arts share!

Dave Featherstone, Professor of Biology and Neuroscience, believes that science and art are the same things. He wrote on Quora, “Both science and art are human attempts to understand and describe the world around us.”

While he granted that their traditions, approaches, and intended audience might differ, he also argued that the motivation and goals of both science and arts are fundamentally the same.

Once you understand this, it’s easy to see why opting to develop art with a scientific approach must is an ideal choice in parenting!

So let’s discuss how the study of science is essential in not just developing a growth mindset towards a better career, but also help your kids learn develop latent talents that might make them successful in sports, arts, or any vocation of their choosing. Here are five such “talents” that are nurtured as a result of studying science and technology.

Creativity

Both science and art observe, explore, and create. Science helps kids to ask questions, observe more, and therefore get better at their pursuits.

Encourage your child to make observations from any activity they engage in and then record them by writing them down, drawing a picture, taking a photo, or making an audio or video recording. Your children, via science, learn to compare and contrast things and use them better in other activities such as music, painting, and storytelling.

Science doesn’t follow one method to discover results. In fact, many discoveries have happened by accident. This effect falls out into other fields as well. For example, great novelists hardly ever have defined templates to write stories. They use their life experiences and knowledge to create masterpieces.

Another great example where art projects are based on science is activities such as crafts, woodworking, knitting, etc. where measurements are important. This is where the intersection of math and art also comes into play. Without the knowledge of machines and calculations, creating those pretty crafts can be quite a task.

Once they ingrain these concepts (even if you haven’t explicitly taught them), your children won’t shy away from trying out new methods of creation – and more importantly not quit after a few tries.

Planning

Science is a systematic subject that allows kids to learn organization, scheduling, and estimation like nothing else. For most goal-oriented activities that kids undertake – whether in the course of playing, or related to their school projects, or simply any classes our courses they might be enrolled in – planning is a core requirement.

Here’s a simple, graphic example of everyday activities that involve both fun and learning for children. You’ll notice that none of these actions are possible without some elements of a scientific approach.

Each of these activities requires a lot of preparation. From gathering resources and tools for your experiment to learning about new concepts, to collaborating with other curious minds, science is a journey of continuous planning.

With planning skills acquired through small activities, kids can develop their skills and aptitude in artistic pursuits.

Of course, creating art, irrespective of its form, still is a lot of hard work but taking a scientific approach and starting with a plan makes it easier.

Adaptability

Adaptability, as a life skill, might seem a bit too much for young children. However, it’s crucial to teach them to be flexible early on in life. Experiments help children cope with failures, making them a lot more adaptable adults later.

Children who develop the tendency to try on in the face of failure find it easier to adapt to difficult situations later in life. Science experiments expose kids to mistakes, and failure. But eventually, they learn where they went wrong and correct themselves, which makes them less rigid in turn.

Creating art requires adaptability at its best. In painting and sculpture, an endless amount of raw material is wasted. Not a single scene of a film is finalized without dozens of retakes.

With a scientific bent of mind, kids grow up to be patient adults who can handle challenges like creative blocks and go on creating the relevant art forms that appeal to different cultures and societies.

Curiosity

One thing that artists and scientists have in common is their curiosity: the eagerness to learn more and present their own concepts to the world. It follows that curiosity is one of the most important things a child needs to have.

Whatever we know about the world today is because someone was curious enough to ask a question. Children learn things by asking questions. Asking a question is the way to discoveries.

Now children have an ingrained sense of wonder. Combined with curiosity, it can only turn into something expressive and creative. If kids who are inclined towards art have a curious mind, they’re sure to go places and discover themselves!

As a parent, you must encourage your child’s curiosity and self-understanding. You can do so by saying things like “I wonder why I’m happy to see yellow cars!” or “I wonder what Indian curry tastes like.”

Listen to kids’ questions carefully and guide them through self-discovery of the solution rather than spoon-feeding them with answers. Give them a description (or maybe a printout) when you see them unable to make or draw something from imagination, but don’t build it for them.

Critical Thinking and Decision-Making

We adults learn from our experiences – and so do kids. A STEM approach to learning helps children think and act rationally, and also exposes them to environments that test their decision-making skills.

Kids, however, tend to make impulsive decisions. Science teaches them that there is more than one solution to a problem and that the best decisions are those that are well-thought out.

This helps them develop critical thinking skills.

In fields like architecture, marketing, and film making, critical thinking is central to the outcome of every project as well as appealing to a target audience.

Needless to say, a child who develops the knack of seeking out and looking at different solutions objectively, and choosing the best one among them.

Final Thoughts

When you teach science to children, they learn life skills that play a crucial role in nurturing different types of talents within them.

The greatest actors, painters, musicians, and sportspeople swear by science, while scientists believe in the artist or player inside them. So, go on and instill a love for all vocations in your kids and let them choose their calling. With just the right amount of encouragement, your curious and hyperactive kid might just turn out to be the Leonardo da Vinci of the internet age.

Author bio:
 Shreiya Aggarwal-Gupta is the owner of the early education startup Kidpillar, which aims to provide developmental opportunities and resources for young children in the field of STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics) via kid-friendly journals, practical DIY-kits, and simple project-based learnings and workshops. Shreiya is also a passionate blogger, computer science engineer, finance whiz, and “perfect mommy” to her son.

The phone, a device once used solely for the purpose of calling one another, has quickly become capable of just about everything.  The birth of mobile phones has brought the world to our finger tips, both good and bad.  And who would have believed a decade ago that these smart portable computers would be in the hands of most kids.

With such a powerful device now available to just about everyone, it becomes more and more of a challenge to limit your child’s usage of their phone. Activities available on a smartphone seem endless; playing games, making music, watching videos, and even browsing the internet. Unfortunately, as with many things in life, without moderation and protections put in place, there can be consequences.

Should I Allow My Child to Get a Phone?

Before asking whether how to limit your child’s phone usage, it is probably worth discussing whether your child should be allowed to have a phone in the first place. A phone is an extremely useful tool for your child to have in order to gain a sense of independence, allowing them to attend after-school clubs or extracurricular activities while staying in contact with you.

While your child may claim that all of their friends have a phone and try to use this as a reason that they should have one, it is up to you to decide at what age it is appropriate and not their friend’s parents. By allowing your child to have a phone at a young age, you are essentially granting them access to an unfiltered and unsafe world that they are not be ready for.

Limiting my Child’s Phone Usage

Luckily, when you decide that it is the right time for your child to have a phone, there are still parental control filters that can be installed to ensure that they aren’t visiting unsafe sites, as well as any site that isn’t age-appropriate. It is also possible to install parental control filters to actually limit the amount of time that they spend online each day. While you may think that installing these filters is all you need to do, it is important that the limits that you set are fair and that you also set a good example for your children with your own phone usage. When necessary, you may want to track your child’s phone.

A Digital Family Alliance

Although parental filters can definitely help, sometimes setting strict limits on your children’s devices while you continue to use yours to your heart’s content can create tension in your household. Creating a digital family alliance is a great way to adopt healthy digital habits together. By being honest with your children, it opens up a dialogue where everyone can contribute, letting each family member explain the difficulties they have when it comes to limiting the amount of time they spend on their phone. After all, how can you expect your children to get away from their phones if you can’t get away from yours?

Is all Phone Usage bad for your Children?

Although we have been talking about limiting our children’s phone usage, it would be wrong to say that all phone usage is bad for them. Having a phone does give your child a sense of independence as well as allowing them to stay in contact with friends and even participate in productive activities.

Today, children can use their phones to learn digital art, how to make music, and even get into photography, the potential is limitless. The point here is that it is important to understand how much time should be spent on non-productive activities such as scrolling through social media or watching endless YouTube videos to name a few. Monitoring the amount of time that they are using their phone for these different activities is crucial to allowing them to enjoy any creative hobbies that they may need their phone for while cutting out the junk food of their digital diet.

Conclusion

So we can agree that our phones are incredibly useful devices when in the right hands. By working together as a family we can create rules that are easy enough for everyone to sustainably adhere to. If you are thinking of limiting your child’s phone usage, make sure to ask them how long they think is an acceptable amount of time to spend on their phones and create an open space where you can discuss your digital week. After all, families can get through anything when they work together.

It can be hard to make sure your kids stay happy and healthy during online classes. The sudden shift to a virtual format has been anything but easy. If you’re a parent watching your child struggle as they try to adjust to the online format, here are a few suggestions for ways that you can help.

Set Your Child Up with a Dedicated Home Classroom

There are dedicate a space for your child to do their school work. Much like working from home, a dedicated space creates boundaries and helps establish school-life balance.

It also gives you the chance to create a specific area that is optimized for school. You and your child can personalize the space to help them stay organized and positive every time they enter the area to “go to school.”

Don’t Let Your Kid Work on Something for Too Long

It’s officially recommended that an adult not work on the same task for more than two hours at a time. For children with shorter attention spans, that number drops dramatically. If you have a preschooler, their attention span maxes out at a whopping 5 to 20 minutes.

If your kid is spending too much time on a project or a piece of homework, don’t be afraid to break up the job for them. Helping them learn to regulate themselves and take breaks will be a skill that they take with them for the rest of their lives.

Help Your Kid Unplug Often

The focus of getting through online school is obviously on the “online” part. However, it’s also good to consider the time when your kids are not in class, too. A few suggestions for ways to help them include:

• Turning off distractions like notifications on their mobile devices.
• Using the “screen time” or “focus mode” features to curb access to unnecessary apps.
• Limiting screentime in the evenings and weekends.
• Making sure they aren’t getting too much blue light before bedtime.

They may not love it at the moment, but helping your child unplug when they aren’t in school will do wonders for their mental state.

Regularly Check In with Your Kid

While unplugging and being in the present are important, you also want to ensure that your kid isn’t spending too much time completely on their own.

One way to address this is by planning family time. Look for hobbies like cooking or reading that you can do together. Additionally, simply spend time talking with them. You can use these occasions to check in and see how they’re doing. For instance, if they’re feeling tired, you can talk about the connection between fatigue and depression and then use that as a segue for more health-related conversations.

Make Sure Your Child Isn’t Alone Too Much

Along with private conversations, you can also help your child maintain their social lives. You can do this by setting up Zoom playdates, letting them make phone calls, or even planning a full-blown virtual party for your kid. Because every family in your circle is likely in the same boat, be sure to plan far in advance.

You can also help them stay connected in more subtle ways. For instance, have them write an email or even a handwritten letter to one of their friends. Whatever the activity, look for ways to help your kid avoid the closed-off feeling of prolonged isolation.

Tend to Your Kid’s Basic Health Concerns

It’s also important to help your kids understand the importance of basic health maintenance. This should focus on three areas, in particular:

• Sleep: Make sure that they’re getting the right amount of sleep for their age.
• Exercise: Consistent exercise helps keep the body healthy and stress at a minimum.
• Eating: A well-rounded diet is critical for growing minds and bodies.

Once again, helping your kids learn to consider these important things while they’re also balancing virtual school is a life skill that they’ll continue to benefit from for decades.

Set Your Child Up for Success

Finally, it’s also important to grease the wheels for your child’s educational success wherever possible. This can be done in many ways, such as:

• Charging their digital devices while they’re sleeping.
• Maintaining a consistent and clear schedule for them.
• Teaching them about Zoom etiquette and how to communicate online.

By doing what you can behind the scenes, you can help your child feel supported and encouraged every day.

Cultivating Happy, Healthy Kids During Remote School

The education system may be in a rapid state of change at the moment. However, that doesn’t mean that your kids have to suffer from the negative side effects of the ongoing academic evolution.

Do your best to come by their side and support them throughout this transformative time. While we may not know what will come next, if you can stay strong for your kids during this time, you can rest assured that your family won’t suffer, regardless of what the future may hold.